As we begin to enter the chaos of the winter holiday season, let us prepare our hearts as we prepare our homes.
The chaos of December is sometimes joyful, as when your house is full of well-loved family and friends, and everyone is doing "gumbo ya-ya" and talking (loudly) at the same time. It is sometimes stressful, as when you are in a long line to check out at a crowded store in a crowded mall, and the inexperienced store clerk needs a price check on an item for the man who is 7 people ahead of you. December chaos is sometimes *both*, and in some holiday situations, we can feel both uplifted and stressed-out at the exact same time.
Here's some gentle pastoral advice for the upcoming chaos of the holiday season: Be Generous.
When things get crazy during the holidays, be generous. When pulled in different directions by the competing needs and desires of loved ones, be generous. When your own expectations of holiday beauty and holiday joy and holiday perfection seem too high, be generous. When the children of your extended family (fueled by overindulgence in sugarplums) go beserk, be generous. When your adult siblings get on your last nerve, be generous. When there's an opportunity for hospitality (and you think you've done enough already), be generous.
The holidays, while still happy, can be some of the most stressful times of the year. Emotions run high at this season, and are close to the surface (especially for those of us still coping with Katrina-losses). Long-buried family or relationship issues can come bubbling up. The giving and receiving of gifts is freighted with unspoken (and often, unacknowledged) meaning. Things can happen during the holidays that cause breaks in families and relationships, drawing some in, and leaving others out in the cold (figuratively speaking).
Author L. Gregory Jones of Duke Divinity writes:
The chaos of December is sometimes joyful, as when your house is full of well-loved family and friends, and everyone is doing "gumbo ya-ya" and talking (loudly) at the same time. It is sometimes stressful, as when you are in a long line to check out at a crowded store in a crowded mall, and the inexperienced store clerk needs a price check on an item for the man who is 7 people ahead of you. December chaos is sometimes *both*, and in some holiday situations, we can feel both uplifted and stressed-out at the exact same time.
Here's some gentle pastoral advice for the upcoming chaos of the holiday season: Be Generous.
When things get crazy during the holidays, be generous. When pulled in different directions by the competing needs and desires of loved ones, be generous. When your own expectations of holiday beauty and holiday joy and holiday perfection seem too high, be generous. When the children of your extended family (fueled by overindulgence in sugarplums) go beserk, be generous. When your adult siblings get on your last nerve, be generous. When there's an opportunity for hospitality (and you think you've done enough already), be generous.
The holidays, while still happy, can be some of the most stressful times of the year. Emotions run high at this season, and are close to the surface (especially for those of us still coping with Katrina-losses). Long-buried family or relationship issues can come bubbling up. The giving and receiving of gifts is freighted with unspoken (and often, unacknowledged) meaning. Things can happen during the holidays that cause breaks in families and relationships, drawing some in, and leaving others out in the cold (figuratively speaking).
Author L. Gregory Jones of Duke Divinity writes:
"...Unexpected generosity can lead to an inclusivity that enables healing and joy for years to come. Sometimes the generosity can be a small gesture with enormous consequences, while at other times it may be quite costly -- emotionally, financially, or both. But it is worth it."
Whoever we are, wherever we are on life's journey, we can learn to be more generous. Some of the most financially destitute people can be incredibly generous. (I think of the homeless camp at Duncan Plaza, where a collection was taken up for flowers for a member of the group who died recently.)
Of course, generosity is not just about money -- you can be generous with your time, with your patience, with your energy, with your ideas and talents. Did you ever notice that people who are stingy with money also tend to withhold their emotions and are often withdrawn in their relationships?
Children can be incredibly generous. I remember my son Stevie once pouring the entire contents of his coin bank into the gnarled hands of an old man begging on Napoleon Avenue. As his mom, I'd like to take credit for that, but I've always thought that his generous nature was just a part of who he was/is.
So, in the spirit of the Child in all of us, the Sun-Child reborn every Winter Solstice, the Christ-Child reborn every Christmas morning, the tiny infant flame of hope reborn every Hanukkah, let us be generous.
Happy Hanukkah, Blessed Solstice, Merry Christmas!
Of course, generosity is not just about money -- you can be generous with your time, with your patience, with your energy, with your ideas and talents. Did you ever notice that people who are stingy with money also tend to withhold their emotions and are often withdrawn in their relationships?
Children can be incredibly generous. I remember my son Stevie once pouring the entire contents of his coin bank into the gnarled hands of an old man begging on Napoleon Avenue. As his mom, I'd like to take credit for that, but I've always thought that his generous nature was just a part of who he was/is.
So, in the spirit of the Child in all of us, the Sun-Child reborn every Winter Solstice, the Christ-Child reborn every Christmas morning, the tiny infant flame of hope reborn every Hanukkah, let us be generous.
Happy Hanukkah, Blessed Solstice, Merry Christmas!
Melanie
