I can just hear y'all now; you're thinking, "What kind of crazy question is that to ask a UU -- aren't we all apostates??" but bear with me.
"Apostate" has several levels of meaning, and some of those do indeed describe almost every single Unitarian Universalist. On one hand, an apostate is a dissenter, a heretic, a nonconformist -- words that easily fit us religious liberals. We dissent from standard religious views and dogma; we follow what the more orthodox would term heresy; we pride ourselves on our nonconformity (some might say we are rigidly conformist in our nonconformity, but that's a subject for another column!). On the other hand, though, an apostate is a deserter, a traitor, a backslider, a turncoat. An apostate is someone who has intentionally left or turned against a particular faith or belief system.
And there's the rub.
Philosopher Max Scheler describes an apostate in terms that ought to give us Unitarian Universalists pause; he writes:
"The apostate does not affirm new convictions for their own sake, [but] is engaged in a continuous chain of acts of revenge against his [or her] own spiritual past."
Ouch. If you resemble that remark, then you are among the large number of UUs who describe themselves negatively, as what they don't believe, don't like, don't do. Some will often only half-jokingly describe themselves as a "recovering Catholic" or an "ex-Baptist" or a "fallen-away Methodist" before they call themselves UU. This is the unfortunate shadow side to being an apostate.
Being an apostate in this latter sense is like being trapped as a perpetual teenager, always in rebellion against the parents/authority figures, unable or unwilling to form one's own particular individual identity. UUs with this self-identity find it difficult to describe their church or UUism without resorting to that series of "don'ts." When the curious religious seeker presses for more, saying, "OK, I get what y'all don't do or don't do, but what DO you do – what DO you believe?" these UUs get tongue-tied.
Being an apostate in the first sense can be good thing, but staying stuck too long in the second sense can be spiritually crippling.
What is your true belief? What holds you together in the dark of the night? What gives you the strength to get out of bed and face your day? You can book it's NOT your list of don'ts.
Try running through your list of favorite positive values, the things you DO believe in -- such as love and compassion, beauty and justice and equity, inclusive community, working with others to make the world a better place, healing for all those who are broken and wounded and in need of comfort – and put them in your personal priority order. Add to the "do" list as things occur to you.
And the next time somebody asks you about First Church and Unitarian Universalism, start off by saying, "You'll love First Church, because we…" and fill in that blank from the affirmative things you love about this church and this faith.
We UUs will always be apostates in the sense of being heretics from orthodoxy, but we don't have to be apostates forever clinging to what we hated about our spiritual past. Be a true believer, and think of your faith in encouraging and supportive terms. It'll be a lot easier to answer those questions coming from the spiritually curious – and you'll feel better too.
Yours in our shared, wonderful liberal faith,
Melanie
